Tanya’s Story: A Response

Today I'm posting at [She Stands.](http://victoriousshestands.blogspot.com/) Stop for a heart check!

If you didn't read Tanya's inspiring story posted this weekend, read it [here.](https://brendayoder.com/2013/01/12/inspiring-stories-tanyas-story/) It's a **beautiful story of hope and redemption** after a life of child abuse and rejection. If it touches you, feel free to share that with her [here](https://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Fathers-Daughter/220902644603063?fref=ts)

As a counselor for elementary students, former teacher, and a professional counselor, here's a note in response to Tanya's story of abuse.

A reader commented they realized how sheltered their life has been. This comment could come from many, many people. When it comes to abuse there seems to be two camps: those who experience it and those who are unaware of it. As a reader, you fit into one of those categories. Those who are unaware of it, it's with you **I share my heart.**

[](http://brendayoder.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/mp900408985.jpg)As I read Tanya's story, I see a young girl, boy or teenager in a classroom. I see them in a desk, trying to master angles of an isosceles triangle. I see them lashing out or **standing in the corner by themselves** at recess. I see them trying to listen to a classroom teacher when their mind keeps going back to the night before. **This is a child you know.**

Statistics say **one out of every four** women will be sexually abused or assaulted some time in their lifetime. Statistics for men are anywhere from one in seven to **one in five.** Statistics would be higher if all incidences were reported. Most of them are not. As a professional working with people in a counseling relationship, the disclosure of childhood sexual or physical abuse is common. Too common. Adults have the capacity to work through the damage from childhood. But each adult was once a child. ** A child you know.**

**Each one of us lives in community with others**. But I wonder how many of us live in "the bubble." **The sheltered-life bubble.** You may not work in a school like I do, but you interact with people. You're in a work setting, a church sanctuary, a check out line at Walmart. Where ever you are, there is one in four or one in five who have been, currently are, or will be abused. It's around us. **It knows no boundaries.** Gender, socioeconomic level, education, religion or race does not determine where abuse happens. If you think it does, you're deceiving yourself.

I want you to do more than read Tanya's story and say you're inspired. **I want you to see people, to hear people, to reach out** when someone shares their past with you. If a child discloses they are being harmed by someone, legally and ethically you have a responsibility to report it. Don't be afraid of this. For more information, click [here.](https://www.childwelfare.gov/responding/reporting.cfm) A great advocacy site for children can be found [here.](http://aboutthechildrenblog.com/about/)

For those of you who have people in your lives who've been abused, don't shrink back. For male survivors, Cec Murphy has a wonderful ministry both for men and those who love them. Visit his ministry[ here](http://www.menshatteringthesilence.blogspot.com/). For women, feel free to reach out to Tanya or other sexual assault agencies[ nationally](http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline) or in your community.

Abuse is complicated because it usually involves family members or friends. It's usually not the creepy guy hanging around the mini-mart. You need know this.

Life is not simple.

We are called to be givers of life and hope in the darkness.

**Pop the bubble.**

Reach Out. Listen.

A person you know needs you.