The Mother’s Anxiety We All Have
When I recently asked for topics you'd like me to write about, a mother's anxiety came up.
I can relate. So I'll write.
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Anxiety creeps in the minute you see the "+" on the pregnancy test:
*What if something's wrong with the baby?*
*What if I won't be a good mom?*
*What if I it's a (boy) or (girl)... and I won't know how to raise them?*
*What if the father and I aren't on the same page?*
*What if we can't afford the baby?*
*What if they inherit my problems?*
*What if....*
The "what-if's" don't end when the baby comes. They morph into the next season of "what-if's."
*What if I don't discipline their tantrums right and they're a rebellious teen?*
*What if they don't have friends because they're shy?*
*What if they can't succeed in school because of their learning disability?*
*What if they fall off their bike? Get picked up by a stranger?*
*What if they get pregnant, hang out with wrong friends?"*
It. Never. Ends.
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I parented my older children in fear of "what-if's". I was overbearing and critical. At age 5, one of them had a melt-down in the bathroom at church over things kids should't be worried about. While calming them in the bathroom stall, God told me **something was out of balance.**
**I needed to stop. Breathe. And listen to Him.**
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That was one of many dialogues with the Holy Spirit I've learned to discern. It's a conscious process every time to*** stop, breath, and listen to God. ***Human nature says, "fix it now."
Whether it's a child with special needs, a broken heart, or a one making ungodly choices, you have to stop, breathe, and listen to God when anxiety rules your emotions.
How do you practically do that?
1. **Stop. **
**Stop the racing thoughts** that flood you in the moment, or nag you over time.
**Stop parenting out of fear.**
**Stop, look, and listen to your child**. Hear what he or she needs in the moment. Be calm to dispel their fears. Then, address the broader needs of the situation during non-conflict times.
**Stop letting your emotions dominate the wisdom God's given you.**
Stop believing lies of the enemy that perpetuates fears, feeds your reactions, and distracts you from your child's heart.
**Stop focusing on future unknowns**. Instead, concentrate on the current situation and the truth you know right now.
**Stop feeding your fears.**
**2. Breathe. **
Literally, breathe.
*When you feel anxiety creep in, *
*When you have racing thoughts, *
*When you're responding impulsively, *
*Stop and breathe. *
Deep breathing is a primary intervention for anxiety.
Then, **spiritually breathe**. Inhale the wisdom of the Holy Spirit by asking for discernment so you can exhale His truth in the situation.
**Let your mind and body rest. **
**Take a break**.
**Walk away** from your child if needed or from the torment of your own thoughts.
**Do something different than what you're doing or thinking in the moment. **A change of scenery gives a change of perspective.
**Get fresh air.** Literally, figuratively, and spiritually.
Not only do you need calm; your kids need you to be calm, too. Kids sense, mirror, and internalize your emotions. Your calm and peaceful response brings strength and security to them.
*What are ways you can "breathe" in moments of anxiety?*
*What are different fears or anxieties you have as a parent? Comment below or email me at yoderbl@gmail.com. I'd love to continue to address this topic.*
The 3rd part of this article - ***Listening to God** - *will be in the next post.
Even though I work with parents on this topic, these principles are personal to me, too. I work on them daily as my kids have new experiences.
You're not alone.
I'm now doing video devotionals posted on[ Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/beyondlpicketfence?ref=hl). If you'd like to see quick, practical 5 minute devotionals and talks I'm adding to ministry resources, join our [Facebook page](https://www.facebook.com/beyondlpicketfence?ref=hl) where they will be shared!